be encouraged

Communication as a Leader

I have a confession to make.

When I’m nervous or unsure, I can use too many words. I mean…A lot of them. I’ve convinced myself, more times than I’d like to admit, that the more I say, the more believable I become. The more thorough I sound, the more credible I must be.

The opposite is true.

Jefferson Fisher, author of The Next Conversation (a book I’ve recommended before and will keep recommending), said it better than I can: “The more words you use, the less you actually say. The temptation to overexplain stems from the fear that the other person isn’t going to believe you. But the more words you use, the less believable you become.”

I read that and… I didn’t like it. Now, I’m not sure what I ever did to offend or upset Jefferson Fisher. We’ve never met. But I felt personally called out…because it’s spot on.

I’ve gotten better at this. But I’m still working on it. And I probably always will be.

Be direct. Get to the point. If they have questions, they’ll ask.

And it matters most when you’re leading people.

Communication Is Not a Courtesy

Here’s one of the ideas I keep coming back to:  communication is not a courtesy. It is the operating system of execution.

When communication breaks down, everything gets more expensive. Time is wasted. Trust erodes. People move in different directions with full confidence that they’re all going the same way. Rework increases. Frustration follows.

George Bernard Shaw said it well: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

That line should be posted in every conference room in every organization in the world.

Because most communication breakdowns don’t happen because nobody said anything. They happen because someone said something, assumed it landed, and moved on. The message was delivered. Clarity was not.

Brené Brown put the other side of it just as clearly: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

When we overexplain and bury the point in too many words, we think we’re being considerate. We’re not. We’re making the other person work harder to figure out what we actually mean. That’s not kindness. That’s self-protection dressed up as consideration.

As leaders, we don’t get to opt out of clear communication. It’s not a personality trait. It’s a responsibility.

Three Directions, One Standard

“Communication as a leader moves in three directions. To the people you report to. To your peers across the organization. And to the people you serve.”

Communicating with those you report to is where we can see leaders struggle most visibly. The default move is to report. To share status. To explain what has happened and wait for direction. It feels responsible. It feels thorough. But in reality, it shifts the responsibility for decisions and next steps to someone else.

Robert Barber, a leadership voice I’ve followed for some time now, offers a great reframing tool that has stuck with me and I’ve used. During pressure and complexity, leaders work to answer three questions. What’s happening? What happens next? And why does this matter now? The leaders people remember aren’t always the loudest ones. They’re the ones who created clarity when everything felt complicated.

The stronger move is to lead through your communication. Here’s what we know. Here’s what we’re doing next. Here’s the risk if we don’t move. That’s not just an update. That’s leadership.

Communicating with your peers is where assumptions live. It’s easy to take things for granted. Two teams working on related efforts, each moving forward, each assuming the other has what they need. No one is being careless. No one is being difficult. But the handoff is unclear, the ownership is assumed, and somewhere in the gap between the two teams, something falls.

“I thought they were handling that” is one of the most expensive sentences in any organization.

The stronger move is to coordinate and communicate with intention. Clarify who owns what. Confirm shared expectations before the gap appears, not after. Close the loop. Assume positive intent and verify understanding.

Communicating to the people you serve is where clarity becomes care. Your team needs to know the standard, why it matters, and what happens next. Not a rough idea of it. Not a version of it filtered through three layers of assumption. The actual standard, clearly stated, with context attached.

One clear expectation with a Why behind it lands better than ten expectations delivered without one.

The stronger move is to communicate with context, not just content. Don’t just tell people what the standard is. Tell them why it matters and what it looks like when it’s done well. A team that understands the why behind an expectation doesn’t just comply with it. They own it.

The Default Move vs. The Stronger Move

When communication breaks down, the default move is predictable.

I’m certain that ALL the thoughts that roll around in my head have brilliant clarity. In reality, my thoughts are more easily compared with some kind of deranged spaghetti map. We assume the message was clear because we delivered it. We repeat the same message without changing the approach. We move forward without confirming what the other person actually heard or what they plan to do next.

And then we’re surprised when things go sideways.

The same is true with commitments. We’ve all been in situations where a deadline won’t be met. Information isn’t ready. A shipment is delayed. Something fell through. The default move is to wait. Hope it resolves. Communicate when the commitment is due, or worse, after it’s already late. By then, you’re not just late, and the people counting on you had no warning.

The stronger move is to renegotiate the commitment early. Not at the deadline. Certainly, not after it. Early. A brief message that says “here’s where this stands and here’s my new timeline” costs almost nothing. Silence until the deadline costs a lot.

The stronger move is to create clarity, not just deliver content.

Define what matters. Explain why it matters. Make the next step impossible to miss. And then, this is the part a lot of folks can miss: confirm what others heard.

Not “Any questions?” That question almost never produces useful information.

Try instead: “Tell me what you’re taking away from this and what happens next for you.”

That one shift reveals more about whether communication actually occurred than anything else you could ask.

Your Turn

Here’s a few questions to guide your thinking before your next conversation or team meeting:

Are you communicating or just talking? Are you creating clarity, or are you delivering content and hoping it lands?

And if you tend to use too many words when you’re nervous or unsure, you’re in good company. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is awareness, and then practice.

Say the thing. Be direct. Trust the people around you enough to ask if they need more.

If you’ve set an expectation of communicating like a leader, they will.

Be Encouraged.

This is Part 3 of a series on Becoming Good at Growth. If you missed the first two parts of the series, you can read them here: Part 1 or Part 2 Next up: Development as a leader and why growth is not optional.