Category: Leadership

Speaking Their (Love) Language: A Simple Guide to Love and Appreciation

~ Tim Pritchett ~ Leave a comment

I’ve had the opportunity to lead several small groups and team meetings based on the ideas presented in 5 Love Languages and the workplace-centric version, 5 Languages of Appreciation. Understanding the needs and communication styles of those you’re around makes nearly everything easy, better, and more meaningful. 

The Five Love Languages (5LL) by Dr. Gary Chapman was released in 1992. Chapman introduced the framework to help individuals express and receive love and appreciation in meaningful ways. Initially, 5LL focused on personal relationships. In 2011, Chapman worked with Paul White to apply these principles in the Workplace by releasing 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace (5LA). While helpful in the Workplace, special considerations are needed.

In my experience, I’ve seen 5LL/5LA improve communication, strengthen relationships, and enhance trust.

What Are the 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Langues are:

  • Receiving Gifts
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch
  • Actions of Service

The acronym GATTS (Gifts, Affirmation, Time, Touch, Service) can be used as a reference.

Let’s talk about each in that order.

Receiving Gifts

People with this Love Language are often incredible gift-givers. For them, it’s not necessarily the magnitude or the frequency of a gift but the thoughtfulness of the gift. Chapman says, “Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than others” and that gifts can represent “A Reminder of Love.”

Examples

  • Bringing a coffee to a friend or colleague. Not just any coffee but THEIR coffee with the double shot, half-caf, oat milk medium in a large cup, double-sleeve coffee.
  • Celebrating wins and milestones with them. Is their thing Dungeons & Dragons or Xbox? How could that inform the token of your appreciation?
  • At work, it could include using Time Off as a gift – letting them come in late on a particular day, have a longer lunch, or leave early for a family event.
  • What’s their favorite movie, candy bar, or band… any of these (or thousands of other alternatives) could be used to celebrate and recognize them and their contributions.

Words of Affirmation

People who are built up by and encouraged with Words of Affirmation and respond to verbal or written expressions of praise and appreciation. Like gifts, these need to be genuine, authentic, and intentional. In order to speak this love language, sometimes the mantra “Words Are Important!” needs to always be on our mind or a post-it note on the mirror.

You might say, “But they should know… why should I have to keep telling them… I’ve told them before… just do your job…” As one who greatly values Words of Affirmation, I can tell you it’s much like a plant that withers as it lacks the water, sunlight, and oxygen it needs to live. Your decisions influence getting their best or a reserved (or injured) result.

When offering Words of Affirmation, Paul White adds, “…give words of affirmation that focus on the character of another individual. Character looks beyond performance and focuses on the inner nature of the person.”

Examples

  • Publicly recognizing their efforts during a meeting, group conversation, or in front of family members. Remember: You’re doing this for them – not for you to look or feel good. This is about speaking their love language. Check your motive.
  • A thoughtful and intentional email or text at the right time can mean more than you realize. (Pro Tip: Go next level and write them a handwritten note.)
  • Offer encouragement to them when it’s not going well when they are discouraged or down. Your words are powerful. Use your words to create life.
  • Thank someone for something they do routinely – something they may feel gets overlooked and/or underappreciated. Sometimes, receiving a compliment in an area where it’s unexpected can have the most value.

Quality Time

Quality Time emphasizes time – but time that isn’t distracted and purposeful to make someone feel valued. An often overlooked aspect of Quality Time is your ability to listen and be present. This could include meaningful conversations without your phone, looking them in the eye, and connecting with them. Sometimes, it’s sharing a space and reinforcing proximity (you’re not alone – I’m here with you). 

If Quality Time is your love language – you know when it’s being met and when it’s not. It may look the same from the outside, but there is Quality Time, and then there is just time. If fairness, when the other person is missing on the “quality” aspect, you have to communicate this with them and not just expect them to “figure it out.” 

Chapman provides this summary in identifying Quality Time: “The essential ingredients in a quality activity are: (1) at least one of you wants to do it, (2) the other is willing to do it, (3) both of you know why you are doing it – to express love by being together.”

Examples

  • Doing regular one-on-one meetings, allowing time for more meaningful interaction and discussion that talks about goals and feedback.
  • Listening attentively during the conversation – not rushing ahead, trying to get to the end, immediately jumping to “the fix,” and not getting distracted by your phone or projects. Maintain eye contact. Being intentional this way can help prevent your mind from wandering.
  • Creating space and time so they know they are heard and not alone. Rarely do they need you to fix the thing they are sharing with you – they are looking for a meaningful connection. 
  • Make time every day to share some of the day’s events with each other. It seems simple and obvious, but how often does the news or social media get your attention before the person right in front of you?

Physical Touch (Adapted for Workplace Appropriateness)

Touch can communicate trust, caring, empathy, and connectedness.

In personal relationships, there are so many subtle ways to communicate love and appreciation through physical touch – holding hands, a hug, resting your hands on their shoulders, putting your hand on their arm as you reach around them to pick something up. All of these (and the accumulation of these small touches) can be very profound for those moved by physical touch.

In the office, what is appropriate is much different. Ultimately, it comes down to what they consider appropriate and welcome – not you. For you, a pat on the back is no big deal – to someone else who may be crossing a border, that is not acceptable. 

Examples

  • Offering a handshake or fist bump to celebrate.
  • Giving a high-five or pat on the back in the moment of achievement.
  • Non-physical gestures, like a thumbs up, are a way to communicate encouragement.

Especially in the Workplace, touch can be controversial. The key is understanding what is appropriate, welcomed, and acceptable as defined by them, not you.

Acts of Service

This language places a priority on being helpful in practical ways of support, often to alleviate challenges for others. These are your “givers”. They seem to intuitively understand how to make your day better or more satisfying. They can also be quick to meet your needs and just as quick to neglect their own and can struggle with boundaries. Acts of Service is one of my key love languages. I can tell you all the great things about it, but I can also point out some real pitfalls associated with being so “others-centric.” Acts of Service does not mean that you’re a doormat or a people-pleaser or that you should abandon your boundaries. Remember that love is freely given. It’s not coerced or demanded. If it’s a forced act, it’s likely to be compliance rather than love/appreciation.

Sometimes, doing what we think needs to be done can cause more damage than help. The answer…ask? “What would be helpful to you?” “How would you like this task to be done?” “When would be the best time to help?”

Examples: 

  • Helping out with a time-sensitive project.
  • Taking care of that chore or task around the house as a thoughtful expression of their appreciation for you.
  • Running “interference” for them so they can focus on the project, event, Super Bowl, movie, etc.
  • Finding small but significant ways to ease your stress.

“What’s my Love Language…”

Understanding your love language and learning those of your spouse, family, friends, and colleagues is incredibly valuable (more on this in a moment). So how do you determine your love language?

  • Reflection: Start with Self-reflection: Think about the times you’ve felt most valued and appreciated. What made you feel that way? Someone bought you a small gift they knew you’d like. Jump in to help with a project. These are good indicators to consider. We’ve often not spent the time thinking about it or putting language around it. 
  • Observation: Secondly, take stock of the things you do to communicate your affection or appreciation to someone. Often, the way WE communicate love is a reflection of how we best FEEL love. “…of course, they’ll feel appreciated this way… I do when someone does that for me… how could they not feel appreciation from that?” This may not be perfect, but it can be a good indicator.
  • Assessment: Finally, you can do a free online assessment here or here.
    • Note: An assessment tool is available for the workplace/5 Languages of Appreciation, but it is a paid service. If interested, you can access it here (I do not receive any compensation or benefit from this – I’m only passing the link along to you for your review and consideration.)

Why Understanding the 5LL/5LA is Valuable

Ok, so you’re intrigued. The idea of communicating your affection and appreciation in a meaningful way to someone (that may be different than how you like to receive affection and appreciation) resonates with you… but does it really make a difference?

I could point to many examples of improved morale, increased production, and less turnover in the Workplace. At home or in your personal relationships, I could talk about improved communication, enhanced trust, and a deepened sense of empathy. All of which would be true. 

That said, applying 5LL/5LA genuinely and authentically allows the other person to feel seen, heard, and understood. I’ve never been in a situation where, when someone felt more seen, heard, or understood, the situation and/or relationship weren’t substantially improved.

Warning

As French philosopher Voltaire (and Spiderman) said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” The 5LL/5LA is not a tool to use and get what you want. When misapplied or abused, they can cause irreparable damage. When abused or misused, the 5LL/5LA look like: 

  • Receiving Gifts: Extravagant or impersonal gifts can make people feel uncomfortable or manipulated.
  • Words of Affirmation: Insincere or generic praise can feel empty and shallow.
  • Quality Time: Excessive demands on someone’s time may feel invasive and push them away or cause them to shut down.
  • Physical Touch: Unwelcomed or inappropriate touch can cross boundaries (personal and cultural) and cause discomfort or misinterpretation.
  • Actions of Service: Overextending yourself can lead to your burnout and/or their dependency.

Developing trust and maintaining awareness and sensitivity (aka “Read the Room”) is the key to using 5LL/5LA effectively. When in doubt, ask.

Now What

As I’ve talked with teams, small groups, friends, and family about the 5 Love Languages, it is always a valuable lens to learn about others and has created interesting and insightful conversations. The first step is to understand your love language and understand how to recognize preferences in others. Take the test and see what you learn.

Additional Resources:

The Power of Encouragement – The Life of a Super Encourager

~ Tim Pritchett ~ Leave a comment

Encouragement can make the difference between a good day and a bad one. It’s the ingredient that, for some reason, we can be stingy about sharing. Encouragement can speak life into someone, helping them pick themselves up and keep moving forward, even when (or maybe especially when) they didn’t believe they could continue, let alone make it through.

Encouragement, in all its various forms, can foster deep relationships and has a broader ripple effect than you might imagine.

Encourage/Being an encourager/Encouragement is why I create this content. For some, it’s an easy thing to do. For others, it takes a more intentional decision. Not because they don’t want to encourage others or they don’t think it’s important, but because it just doesn’t flow naturally.

Here are some thoughts on intentionally encouraging and building stronger connections where you have influence.

Superpowers

You may have a person or two in your life who are not just encouragers but Super Encouragers (go ahead and imagine them with a cape and a superhero utility belt). It’s just who they are. What is it about them that makes them such a great encourager? My guess is that they share some of these Superpowers:

Active Listener:  One of the primary tools of an encourager is active listening. They pay attention to what you’re talking about and saying. They listen for cues where you may need support or reassurance. They listen to and remember your story, problem, or preference. Then, they ask about your story. They follow up on how you’re doing with that problem. They circle back to that area where you needed support – sometimes days or weeks later. And you’re struck with, “Wow! They really listened to what me.” Active listening shows them (and you) that they care and helps them understand how to encourage you most effectively.

Genuine and Authentic: The next tool in the tool belt for these Super Encouragers is being authentic – being real. You don’t get the sense that they are trying to manipulate you. They are genuinely interested in you. If they aren’t genuine and authentic, you can sense it – it comes off as forced or insincere as if there is an Encouragement Quota they need to satisfy. Instead, they take the time to understand what you need and try to deliver it.

Positive Language: This may seem obvious, but when these Super Encouragers are at their best, their language is… wait for it… encouraging, positive, and helpful. Why is this a big deal? Often, the time that we need the most encouragement is when all the language that is rolling around in our brains – isn’t encouraging, positive, or helpful. We speak to ourselves in ways we would never talk to a friend or colleague. Yet, because it’s in our heads – somehow, it’s “normal.” The Super Encourager believes in you when you’re struggling.

Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results: Finally, the Super Encouraging understands this is a journey. That this moment, event, or season isn’t the end all, but rather, progress. They acknowledge the hard work you put into a task, regardless of the outcome. Does that sound too “soft”? If you’ve ever been around a baby – everything is progress. The first time they turn over, sleep through the night, the first time they walk. There aren’t a lot of people out there who, looking at the baby, who tried to take a step and fell, would berate the child, “…look at you – you can’t even walk…” It might be a silly comparison, but the fact is, they are on a journey, and they are making progress. So are you. The Super Encourager often reminds you of this and celebrates the wins along the way… and the results when you get there.

Here’s the great thing about these Superpowers – they’re totally learnable. They don’t require that you get bit by a radio-active Encouragement spider or be ejected from your Super Encourager planet, only to realize your natural skills are on hyper-drive once you hit the earth’s atmosphere and (…too much with the Superhero analogy… got it). You can learn, enhance, and grow these skills.

Superpowers: Activate

So, what does this look like in real life? Here are a few simple examples:

At Work: You notice that someone is struggling with a presentation. Instead of criticizing or ignoring it, you offer encouragement by pointing out that they’ve got some great ideas and offer suggestions on how to present them. You offer to help them practice the presentation. This act of encouragement can help provide the confidence they need, resulting in a better presentation and a new level of connection.

With A Friend: You’ve got a friend who’s going through it. You offer to buy them coffee and listen to their story. The simple act of being present, genuine, and listening can speak volumes, reminding them that they’re not alone and that you’ll walk through it with them. Knowing you’re not alone is a huge encouragement.

As A Parent: With kids, the list of situations they run up against where they can feel defeated is nearly limitless. The list goes on: a grade, a performance in a play, a game, a relationship. As a parent or adult who has influence in their life, you have a unique opportunity and ability to speak life into them. Simple words like, “I’m so proud of you and how hard you work. It may not feel like it now, but it will get better, and I’m here with you.” Not only can this help in the moment, but you’re also developing resilience and a growth mindset.

Secret Identity

Encouraging others not only benefits others but also encourages you. You’re serving others. You’re being empathetic. You’re listening. You may be providing some amount of healing. You’re able to conceptualize and see beyond the present to envision what might be. You can draw from your past experiences and present realities to help guide them. You’re helping them grow. You’re developing community. If that list sounds familiar – it’s because those are all traits associated with Servant Leadership.

“When we encourage others, we boost their self-esteem, enhance their self-confidence, make them work harder, lift their spirits, and help them achieve their goals. Encouragement goes straight to the heart and is always available. Be an encourager. Always.” — Roy T. Bennett

Why it Matters

Encouragement can be the difference between giving up and powering through – even if just barely. It reminds others that someone believes in them, even when they doubt themselves. When you encourage others, you help them grow and fortify your relationship with them by increasing trust and respect. Encouragement creates an environment where people feel safe to take risks, learn, and thrive.

“A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more
than an hour of praise after success.” — Unknown

Be Encouraged…

and Be an Encourager today.

Personal Review Framework – My Version of an Introduction

~ Tim Pritchett ~ Leave a comment

Self-reflection is an essential ingredient for personal and professional growth. Making the intentional decision to slow down… quiet down, and consider your circumstances, the things you’ve learned, and what and how you want things to be different can reveal more than you imagine. I have a series of questions I use that I found in an HBR article entitled, not surprisingly, “How to Create Your Own ‘Year in Review.'” I’ve modified how I use the questions and customized them for my conversations.

I use five questions for a weekly review and 10 additional questions for a monthly review. To help keep me aware (and to supplement my flagging memory), I keep a list of “Week in Review” comments in my journal of noteworthy events, outcomes, changes, etc. These journal entries help inform my weekly review. The weekly review helps inform the monthly review. Each piece stacks on the next. I’ve also used some of these questions in 1:1 meetings with people and received some insightful results.

As with anything, honesty is the key to the effectiveness of these questions and this exercise. Don’t give answers that make you feel good or skirt around an area that needs attention. Acknowledge it, own it, and work on it.

Also, sometimes, to get real answers, bring in someone you trust. Someone who will speak the truth in love, someone who can point out your blind spots, and someone who wants to see and help you grow and improve.

Feel free to download and use this framework as it is or adapt it to suit your needs. Ready? Ok – let’s go.

Weekly Review Questions:

  • WQ1: When (or What) have I learned the most this week?
    • Book looking for the lessons you’ve encountered and how that can shape how you act.
  • WQ2: What do I feel most proud of?
    • You do more good than you realize. Also, developing the muscle to be encouraged in (and by) yourself is valuable. The world can get loud at telling you you don’t measure up. How do you respond?
  • WQ3: Who has helped me be at my best?
    • Someone, somehow, somewhere, helped you this week. Who was that? How can you express appreciation for their contribution?
  • WQ4: How have my strengths helped me succeed?
    • This question helps you focus on two things – your strengths and your successes.  You need to be prepared – even if just for yourself – to know what and how to articulate both.
  • WQ5: What’s the one thing I wish I’d done differently?
    • Thinking through these better equip you the next time you encounter a similar situation. Without any reflection, the same instinct will probably lead to your reaction again. Stephen Covey is famous for pointing out the idea of a moment between a “stimulus and a response,” where a person can choose how they respond.
    • Is that speaking up? Staying quiet? Putting in the work to be prepared? Dedicating the time to rest?

Monthly Review/1:1 Questions

  • MQ1: What three words would I use to describe this last month?
    • Start with a high-level summary. Over time, it’s interesting to see how these words can change.
    • The answers to your weekly in-review questions and notes help you distinguish between the month and this moment. The month may have been great, but this moment may be a train wreck. Avoid the temptation to confuse a moment with a period of time.
    • This helps increase and broaden your perspective and helps to set the stage for the following questions.
  • MQ2: What have I found most fulfilling in the last month? What was the most frustrating?
    • Understanding what brought you joy and what caused stress can help you determine where your energy is being spent, what things you should double down on, and what areas need adjustment.
  • MQ3: Where was I best last month?
    • Recall when everything aligned for you – your work, values, energy, and skills. What were you working on? What contributed to the value of this moment and the fulfillment you experienced?
  • MQ4: What confidence gremlins (beliefs that hold you back) have gotten in my way this month?
    • Often, this is one of the most valuable questions for me. I continue to quiet the internal monologue and narrative of how I’m doing, my weaknesses, etc. I marvel at the people who say they don’t have that voice going off in their heads.
    • Understanding limiting beliefs is the first step to overcoming them. Additionally, understanding if my thinking is real or true is essential. My imagination can be, unfortunately, creative at times.
    • When did self-doubt start to creep in? Why?
    • How did these thoughts impact my decisions or actions?
  • MQ5: What’s the most useful thing I’ve read, watched, or listened to over the last month?
    • What are you learning, and where are you learning? A book? Podcast? Class? A conversation?
    • What is impacting your thinking and actions?
    • Why did this resonate with you? How did it influence you? How can it influence others? Who else will this resonate with?
  • MQ6: What is one learning goal I will make progress on in the coming month?
    • What topic, tool, or skill do you want to improve on? Do you want to figure out Pivot Tables in Excel? Learn to play guitar? The good news is that there are a ton of resources and people who can help you in these areas.
    • Create a specific and actionable goal to increase your understanding or skill.
    • Be clear about what success would look like and feel like for you.
    • Celebrate even the small wins you go through on this journey.
  • MQ7: What is one habit I will commit to?
    • What is one habit that aligns with your values or goals? A new morning routine that includes journaling? Committing to regular exercise?
    • I like this quote from James Clear:

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. This is one reason why meaningful change does not require radical change.

Small habits can make a meaningful difference by providing evidence of a new identity. And if a change is meaningful, it actually is big. That’s the paradox of making small improvements.

  • MQ8: Who is one person I will have a curious conversation with?
    • The original context of this question was related to a career conversation – Who has insight, experience, or expertise that you admire? For the price of a cup of coffee, you can enter into an amazing conversation and (re)establish a relationship.
    • I like this because it also motivates me, especially when I need to talk to someone I may not want to because the conversation is hard or I need to seek forgiveness and/or repair a relationship that has been damaged. This can push me out of my comfort zone.
    • Either way, be specific about your intention.
  • MQ9: What is one way I can support someone else this month?
    • How can you help someone else’s growth or success? Offer to be a mentor? Share resources? Be a good listener? You have more to offer than you probably realize.
  • MQ10: What is one mistake I won’t make again?
    • “I’ll never do that again.” Great! What is that?
    • Mistakes are great opportunities to learn. Take advantage of that opportunity and that lesson.
    • What will you do differently next time you encounter a similar situation?

I’ve found a regular review like this tremendously valuable. It’s not just about looking back. Instead, it’s about using reflections and the insights discovered to help move you forward with purpose. Considering questions like these honestly and thoughtfully creates a roadmap for continuous improvement and intentionality in your actions.

Be Encouraged.

HBR: How to Create Your Own ‘Year in Review

Servant Leadership – My Version of an Introduction

~ Tim Pritchett ~ 1 Comment

When “leadership” is mentioned, many ideas can come to mind. Vision. Decisiveness. Strength. Strategic. Competitive. All of these may be accurate. Many are desirable, but some, depending on how they are portrayed, may not.

Two ideas have influenced my perspective on leadership. The first came from my business coach, who said, “The accumulation of little things is often more impactful than the one ‘big thing.'” The second is a succinct quote from John Maxwell: “Leadership is Influence.” These quotes added nuance to my experiences with the leaders in my life—both good and not-so-good. They have also led me to the ideology and approach to leadership called Servant Leadership.

Servant Leadership

Robert K. Greenleaf formalized the idea of Servant Leadership in a series of essays. The term Servant Leader was introduced in an essay called The Servant as Leader, published in 1970. From the first time I read about it, the approach of Servant Leadership resonated with me. It aligned with my values and my view of people.

Greenleaf’s ideas were, in part, inspired by Hermann Hesse’s novel The Journey to the East (1957). In Hesse’s story, the character Leo embodies servant leadership. He starts as a servant to a group of travelers. (Warning: Spoiler Alert!) Later, it’s revealed that Leo is the spiritual leader of a secretive group called the League. The parable teaches that leadership isn’t about title or role; it’s about serving and uplifting others.

Applying Servant Leadership.

In his essay, Greenleaf has a line that resonates with me and, in my opinion, is the litmus test of being a leader:

Do those served grow as persons? Do they become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, and more likely themselves to become servants?

My influence… my leadership, can be revealed in those around me. I care, support, serve, and influence them. I often miss the mark, but this is what I aspire to.

The Traits of a Servant Leadership

Greenleaf outlined ten traits of servant leaders:

  1. Listening: Actively listen to others’ needs and seek to understand them fully. Often, this requires that we listen more than we talk. Consider more than we persuade. This leads nicely to the next trait…
  2. Empathy: Recognize and understand others’ emotions and perspectives. Alfred Adler described empathy as “Seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.”
  3. Healing: Help others achieve emotional and spiritual wellbeing. This idea might lead you to the thought, “… but that’s…*EMOTIONAL*… this is work! Can’t we just avoid emotions and do work…” I’ll let you decide if those things can be separated.
  4. Self-Awareness: Be mindful of yourself and your impact on others.
  5. Persuasion: Influence through persuasion, not authority.
  6. Conceptualization: See beyond the present to envision what might be. Another way to think of this is “looking forward.”
  7. Foresight: Use past lessons and present realities to guide future decisions. Another way to think of this is “looking back.”
  8. Stewardship: Take care of the organization or the team for the greater good.
  9. Commitment to the Growth of People: Support your Organization’s/Team’s personal and professional development.
  10. Building Community: Create a sense of belonging and collaboration. We were made for community.

I’ve seen and read an additional trait that other students of servant leadership have added:

Bonus: Calling: You are the right person, at the right time, for the right reason. You may not feel like a “leader” or even want to be one. But for whatever reason, you are in the position you are, with the influence you have for a reason. Embrace it.

Leadership is not always “the one big thing.” Very often, it presents itself in the collection of small things done well and consistently.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear said,

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”

This applies to becoming the leader you want to be and that those around you want you to be.

Myths of Servant Leadership

As I’ve studied servant leadership, I have seen opponents to the idea because it’s so contrary to “traditional leadership.”  A few examples include:

Servant Leadership is just “easy” or “being everyone’s friend.” I can appreciate the thought process to get there when I hear this, but I disagree with the conclusion. A quote I recently read provided a great response. In his book Know What Matters, Ron Shaich says,

“Servant leadership isn’t about being nice at all costs. It’s about being helpful at all costs. And radical honesty is a much greater service to people than simply being kind.”

Servant Leadership is just a “Christian/religious thing.” Without a doubt, there is a spiritual quality to servant leadership. Many people will point to Jesus’s quote, “Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28

Servant Leadership is seen in quotes from teachers of many faiths:

  • Mahatma Gandhi: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
  • Dalai Lama: “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
  • Thich Nhat Hanh: “The practice of compassion and loving-kindness is not about being nice but about being real and truthful, helping others to transform their suffering.”
  • Prophet Muhammad: “The leader of a people is their servant.”
  • Guru Nanak: “The essence of life is to serve others and do good.”

Servant Leadership Sacrifices Results for Relationships: Simply because you focus on people and their well-being and growth doesn’t mean you ignore outcomes. My experience is that when you focus on people, you have better outcomes, able to stand to adversity and challenges, and can do it faster (Ref. Steven Covey, The Speed of Trust)

Alternatively

When creating training content on servant leadership, I got a weekly email from Inc. magazine. The email provided a link to an article called “5 Signs That Instantly Identify Someone With Bad Leadership Skills. The list included:

  1. Narcissistic Tendencies
  2. Not recognizing their people for good work.
  3. Treat people like numbers
  4. Too much control
  5. Not sharing information

I found this list and these traits interesting compared to the material I was preparing. When servant leadership is demonstrated well, people are drawn in and thrive.

Your Influence Matters

I believe we’re all here for a reason. I believe you’re in the situation you’re in—good or bad, challenging or encouraging—for a reason. You have the opportunity to learn. You have the opportunity to serve. It’s about choosing to do the small things that build trust, inspire others, encourage others, and foster gratitude in others and yourself. By focusing on the well-being and development of others, we can make a lasting impact—not just as leaders but as human beings. One last quote to drive this point home, Donald McGannon says,

Leadership is an action, not a position.

Lead with intention, serve with humility, and influence with purpose.

Be Encouraged. Be an Encourager.

If you’re interested, here is a version of the slide deck I’ve used to present the ideas of servant leadership.
Servant Leadership Slide Deck

Servant Leadership Traits – Desktop Reminder. I have this sitting on my desk at all times.

OKRs – My Version of an Introduction

~ Tim Pritchett ~ Leave a comment

There are a lot of articles, videos, and books about Objectives and Key Results (OKRs). Here’s how I talk about OKRs.

OKRs are a tool to help with organizational alignment to focus on what is most important to accomplish in the next three, six, or 12 months. OKRs were popularized by tech companies like Google. As discussed in his book High Output Management, the concept’s genesis came from Andy Groves at Intel. The modern iteration of the idea is discussed in the book Measure What Matters by John Doerr. According to the book, Doerr is the one who introduced the concept to Larry Page and Sergey Brin in the early days of Google.

What are OKRs?

OKRs consist of two main variables:

Objects: These are aspirational and qualitative goals describing WHAT you want to achieve.

Key Results: These quantifiable metrics measure progress and create visibility. They are specific, time-bound, and measurable. To ensure they are on point, the phrase “as measured by” can often be included with Key Results.

Nonprofit organization OKR example: Improve Volunteer Engagement:

Objective: Increase volunteer engagement to boost program effectiveness and satisfaction.

Key Results

  1. Increase volunteer engagement activity scores by 20% by December 31st.
  2. Increase new volunteer sign-ups by 10% by the end of 1st Quarter.
  3. Achieve a 90% volunteer satisfaction rate by the end of 2nd Quarter.

For-profit organization OKR example: Increase Customer Satisfaction:

Objective: Improve customer satisfaction and loyalty.

Key Results:

  1. Resolve 95% of customer issues within 24 hours by the end of 1st Quarter.
  2. Increase Net Promoter Score (NPS) from 70 to 85 by the end of the 2nd Quarter.
  3. Conduct customer satisfaction surveys after each interaction and achieve a 4.5/5 average rating across all product lines by the end of the 2nd Quarter.

OKR Superpowers

In Measure What Matters, Doerr describes four Superpowers of OKRs

  1. Focus and Commit to Priorities
  2. Align and Connect for Teamwork
  3. Track and Accountability
  4. Stretch for Amazing

OKRs For-profit and Nonprofit Organizations

While the OKR framework can work across all landscapes, the implementation and focus can differ between For-Profit and Nonprofit organizations.

Similarities

  • Clarity: Regardless of the type of organization you are in, OKRs bring to what is important and create alignment across teams.
  • Results: OKRs track measurable outcomes and focus on the results.
  • Agility: Based on the reporting and results, OKRs can quickly adjust to reflect changes in the landscape.

Difference

  • Focus: For-profits often focus on revenue, customer satisfaction, or process improvement. In contrast, nonprofit OKRs are frequently mission-centric, prioritizing community impact, fundraising, or volunteer engagement.
  • Beneficiaries: Nonprofits align more towards donor expectations and program participants, whereas a for-profit aligns towards shareholder value.
  • Resources: Nonprofits frequently face challenges and constraints in funding and staffing. This can require some creative problem-solving to set realistic key results.

Steps to Implement OKRs

  • Understand the Purpose of OKRs
    • Help others understand that OKRs are a tool for setting and tracking goals, driving focus, alignment, and engagement within the organization.
    • Ensure that your leadership team and employees understand the value and purpose of OKRs.
    • Often, OKRs are a new idea, so the “Why” is as important (if not more so) than the “What” or the “How”.
  • Define the Objective
    • Identify a high-level, qualitative goal that highlights an area of improvement or strategic priority for the organization.
    • Make sure the objective is aspirational and clear.
  • Align Team and Individual Objectives
    • The organizational objective will cascade down and inform the team objectives, which will cascade down and inform the individual objectives. If they don’t, you’ll have a misalignment, confusion (probably frustration and lack of engagement), and, likely, miss achieving your objective.
  • Set Measurable Key Results
    • I have found the most success in using 2-4 Key Results. Some will argue for more, but the value of OKRs is to create focus. “If everything is important, nothing is important.”
    • Make sure the Key Results are specific, time-bound, and challenging yet achievable. Including the team in creating the OKRs often provides a better outcome.
  • Communicate the OKRs
    • I’m an advocate for having as much of the organization/team as possible involved in creating the OKR for greater buy-in from the start. Regardless, once the OKRs are created, transparency and communication are essential. A kickoff meeting or presentation can be valuable.
      • One organization I worked on OKRs with, each team completed their OKR launch with a skit describing their objective and key results. It was fun and informative.
  • Track and Report on Progress Regularly
    • DON’T Overcomplicate this. A simple solution is better than no solution. There are a lot of tools and software platforms out there. While helpful, a simple spreadsheet can get the job done as effectively.
    • The important thing is to have a regular cadence (weekly, biweekly, or monthly) to report on progress, address roadblocks, and adjust as needed.
  • Evaluate and Reflect
    • The person who first introduced me to OKRs would often say, “Win or Lose, watch the tape.” Take time with your team to review the results, discuss successes, and identify areas for improvement.
    • Remember “Stretch for Amazing” – even if you didn’t achieve 100% of your goal, how much improvement and/or growth has been realized? Celebrate!
  • Iterate and Improve
    • Use what you’ve learned from this round of OKRs to help inform and improve your next OKR cycle. OKRs are living tools – not a “set ’em and forget ’em” approach.
    • You’re always looking for ways to improve over what you did last time. As you grow and strengthen your OKR proficiency, you’re set up to make more impactful and meaningful OKRs for your organization.

Some Common Mistakes

I’ve led a lot of conversations and OKR implementations. I have had and seen great success. I’ve also made a lot of mistakes. Here are a few things to consider and avoid:

  • Don’t Set Too Many Objectives: Focus. Focus on a few priorities to avoid spreading you, your team, your organizations, or your resources too thin.
  • Be Specific: Vague Key Results can sometimes sound great, but in the end, you realize you didn’t really know what you were aiming at. Keep Key results specific and measurable to track progress. Remember: “…as measured by…”
  • Get Buy-In Early, Often, and Throughout: Engage your team in the process and make sure everyone is bought and supports the idea. As a solo crusade, this can be a heavy rock to push if you’re the only one.
  • Align to Culture: Culture is a big deal for me. Your OKRs have to align with who you are as an organization. Don’t just copy/paste an OKR you found online. What does your organization need? How do you think/talk/solve that need?
  • Reporting on Progress: Drive on this until it’s an automatic habit. Regularly review and update on the progress of your OKRs to maintain momentum. In the midst of a problem or setback is the time to discuss it and solve it – not after.

OKRs are a proven methodology for:

  • Achieving focus and clarity
  • Creating alignment within the organization, teams, and locations
  • Provide visibility and transparency on progress, problems, and successes
  • Encourage a growth mindset and stretch your team and organization to achieve great things

OKRs can help you translate your vision into actionable steps. Start small, learn and adjust, and watch your organization grow.